The other day, I was chatting with a friend, and I said to her: “Anywhere (especially in relationships) you find a man, best believe he is exactly where he wants to be.”
Here’s what I mean: Men are not confused. They may act like they are, but deep down, they know what they’re doing. Men make decisions that align with their goals and desires, even in love. They will always put themselves first, not because they’re evil, but because they’re wired to prioritize their needs. In many ways, men are naturally selfish.
On the flip side, most women are not. We are often taught, directly or indirectly to be selfless, to love hard, to give more, and to put others ahead of ourselves, especially the men we’re with. While that may seem noble or romantic, the truth is, it often leaves women with the short end of the stick.
Many women bend, shrink, and sacrifice in the name of love, only to find that their efforts are unappreciated or taken for granted. Why? Because they forget to ask themselves: What’s in this for me?
Let me be clear: I’m not saying love should be transactional. But if you're going to give your time, your energy, and your heart, shouldn’t it be to someone who meets your emotional needs? Someone kind, generous, present, and aligned with your values?
Men think about this all the time. They treat relationships as strategic decisions. They pursue what they want and who they want. And when they don’t want something, they don’t commit to it.
So, women, take a page from that book. Stop leading with self-sacrifice. Start leading with self-respect. When choosing a partner, ask the hard questions. Does he tick the boxes? Is he adding to your life? Is this relationship truly serving you, too?
Don’t be so emotional that you forget to protect your peace. Your heart is precious, treat it like it is.
A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
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