Don't Forget! People Know Exactly What They’re Doing

One of the things I’ve learned is this: most people know exactly what they’re doing. Their actions are rarely random. When someone is mean, manipulative, entitled, or inconsiderate, it’s often not a slip-up, it’s a choice. Even if they deny it, deep down, they’re usually aware of how they’re treating others.

Of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes people hurt us without realizing it, and in those moments, giving grace and having honest conversations can heal a lot. But when the same hurtful behavior repeats over and over, it’s no longer an accident, it’s a pattern. And patterns speak louder than apologies ever could. I see those patterns as messages, and sometimes, as threats to my peace.

So here’s a thought: before you pour your heart into a long message explaining in detail how someone hurt you, remember this: they probably already know. And if they did it anyway, they likely don’t care enough to change.

When you realize that, you get to decide what to do with the truth. You can stop wasting energy on people who have already shown you who they are. You can protect your peace, set stronger boundaries, and put your time into people who care enough not to keep hurting you.