"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks" – Winston S. Churchill
Growing up, I wasn’t just fiery—I was a full-on firecracker. But I didn’t call it a temper; no, I gave it more glamorous names. I was "fierce." I was "no-nonsense." I was someone who "just tells it like it is." What I really was, though, was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at the slightest hint of disrespect. And while that felt empowering in the moment, it caused a lot more damage than I ever realized.
Let me paint a picture for you: I once quit a job simply because I didn’t like the tone my boss took with me. After giving myself a pep talk that would’ve made a boxing coach proud, I marched into his office and told him everything—oh, and I mean everything. I even threw in what other staff members had been saying behind his back for good measure. I walked out that day feeling like a warrior. But here’s the kicker: that boss was a close friend of my uncle’s, and to this day, my uncle won’t recommend me for anything. Turns out, my hotheadedness cost me a lot more than just a job.
And that wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve had friendships that ended after one too many heated arguments, missed opportunities because I couldn't bite my tongue, and strangers who avoided me because they once saw me lose it on someone. I found out years later that a person I had wanted to be friends with actually avoided me because they witnessed one of my epic public outbursts. Ouch.
After years of this “firefighter mode” (you know, running around putting out flames I started), I realized something: for all the power I thought I was wielding, I was actually losing control—of my relationships, my opportunities, and most importantly, myself. And the worst part? Once the flames died down, I was always left with regret. I’d sit at home thinking, Why didn’t I just keep quiet?
Finally, after endless dramas and sleepless nights, I decided it was time to get a grip on my emotions. Enter the 24-hour rule. It’s simple, really: before I react to anything, I give myself a full 24 hours to calm down and think. Whether it’s an annoying email, a snide comment, or someone cutting me off in traffic, I force myself to wait. And let me tell you—this has been a game changer.
In those 24 hours, I cool off, sift through my emotions, and ask myself the golden question: Does this even deserve a reaction? Nine times out of ten, the answer is no. Because here’s the thing: when we’re in the heat of the moment, everything feels like an emergency. But when we step back and give ourselves the gift of time, we see things with a lot more clarity. And if, after those 24 hours (or even longer), I still feel like a response is necessary, I’ll go for it—but now I’m doing it from a place of calm, not chaos.
Why does this work? Well, because life is full of people and situations that will push your buttons. It’s inevitable. If you react to everything, you’ll spend your whole life running around in a constant state of stress and conflict. Worse still, when you're known for reacting to everything, people will start to push your buttons on purpose, just to get a rise out of you. And trust me, nobody wants to be "that person"—the one who’s always in the middle of a fight, always the one people whisper about as "hot-tempered."
Here’s a hard truth I learned: people will always remember your reaction, not what caused it. You could be completely justified, but in the end, you’ll be the one labeled as difficult, or worse, unstable. Plus, while you’re busy reacting, you might miss out on amazing people, experiences, or opportunities. That’s the real tragedy of losing your temper—you lose a lot more than just your cool.
So, my advice? Try the 24-hour rule. When something gets under your skin, don’t lash out. Pause. Breathe. Wait it out. Chances are, when you finally respond (if you even need to), you’ll be in a much better position to handle it—and in control of your emotions, not the other way around.
Life’s too short to be the person constantly throwing stones at every barking dog. Choose peace. Choose patience. And most of all, choose you.
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